Blogging

OMG OMG!!! finally blogging again!! fk my comp 3weeks le still not ok!! WHT IS WRONG WITH HER!!

many things happen to me ba.. last week my face worse don know wht reason maybe stress maybe lack of sleep. ms tan pass me 1 pimple cream.. its so OMG LA.. since de use my face keep peeling.. everyday reddness.. UGLY UGLY UGLY MAX.. until i cannot stand it...
super sian.. sorri guys no pic.. cause at lanshop!!
haix... love is so hard to understand.. eyes shut heart close mouth zip ear block.. WHT is love!!! how to define love!! how to love!! y must we love!! Emo..so many words in my heart that i wan say but i goes empty everytime...damm long neber go MOS, maybe its de place i can go can hide ba..gif me a few more days-week will i find solution to de comp.. n finding back my feeling my heart my mind my everything.. treasure the things u wan most before losing it n regretting.. tears cannot wash away my pain..the onli way is washing away ur memory... last but not least

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BLACKIE RAYMOND!!

happy 18th!!

hope u like ur present...

Sorri guys...

FK my desktop!!!

KNNCB.. SMLJ!!

sorri guys didnt manage to update!!

my desktop down.. due to too much blogging n auditioning!!

Give me some time i will write all my emo emo down again!!

nothing to do leh!!super sian la.. a few days neber blog i want

cry.. at home totally

sch sian.. home sian..

i miss everything & every1..

So many things happen to me..

I dont wan to cry le..

Next time, dont bring me to OCH nor any haunted place i will BITE... don believe i show u de pictures when my desktop back to work...

Walking!

thinking..

wht happen to me..

wht have i done..

to get this type of bloody treatment..

is life ever fair?

just don wan know don wan hear..

who don wan happily ever after?

maybe being a nerd is better ba..
This is wht i need now.. de most!!!

TY PAPA!! BEING WITH ME WHEN I NEEDED U DE MOST!! PAPA LOVE..

PAPA!! PROMISE NO MIA..

..Bastard.. i don need a friend like u.. seriously, after wht u done to me.. Morning reading ur sms make me puke.. dont need an wei me or pity me cause i feel you need more of my pity.. keep ur crocodile tears aways from me TY!! you ar de worse i seen & known in my whole life.. you blow a threat to him hoping he gif a gd answer.. you hold & acted you know everything...

I HATE U TO THE DAY I DIE...

REMEMBER THIS:

YOU OWN ME MORE THAN I OWN YOU!!

YOU HATE ME MORE THAN I HATE YOU!!

YOU ARE THE WORSE ARSEHOLE I EVER SEEN..

I lose part of it cause of your ji po (KPO).. MINE UR OWN BUSINESS PLS..why must u be in the way.. HAPPY? Is this the ending you wanted? pls use a nut cracker-open ur brain to think la!! wht position are you in.. screw & plier-check ur black dirty & flithy heart..

NOTHING BUT A M***** fk-er PUSSY!!

FK OFF PLS!!

protecting your fren does not mean u got the power to hurt others.. I don gif a god damm thing about ur intention but u have no rights to make a girl so badly hurt.. falling down take how much courage to stand up.. if i am a guy, maybe i might be able to take the blow & still standing strong.. BUT EXCUSE LA.. SORRI TO TELL U I AM NOT...

SMLJ!! U M***** FK-ER. KNNCB...

today this entry, scolding u.. make u feel angry when u read.. even feel like killing me.. but let me tell u let u know... I AM X1000000000 EVEN BILLION TONS MORE ANGRY DEPRESS EMO N EVERYTHING... dont offer to tock(chop) ur everything.. CAUSE NO USE LE..

YOU THIS PUSSY PBK!!

i really treated you as a friend slowly accepting & happy contented being with you all.. BUT UR BLOODY 1 MEETING THAT CAME OUT OF YOUR DIRTY MOUTH BLOODY DESTROY ME..

FAIR TO ME MA?

WHO THE HELL U THINK U AR?

eh wan turn back time?? after wht u did u still got face n gut to tell ppl if u can turn back time.. already make me fall to the pit.. TY LO.. SG U DE BEST SIOL!!

i think i cant smk le.. this few days my stomach flu make me so xin ku..at night de worse..after smk i will feel giddy than wan vomit.. i today 1 night finish my pack. ice mint cold.. papa.. sorri i make u so worry abt me... my pale face my emo look realli make u worry sick.. sorri sorri n sorri!! but papa.. i want ty u soooo much.. come down find me wait me.. papaLOVE.. papa papa papa... i cant express how much u realli help me stood by me.. u r important n wont be forgotten.. nuer X3.. papa wont tock urs.. next time use ahgong n great ahgong de.. tmr 1.5l coke.. i still own u 1can de coke..

i no longer longing 4 u.. why.. take care.. Promise to open ur heart let others enter.. next time, when u ask ppl why-always ask urself first maybe ur answer will even be better than wht others gif u.. yi fa huan fa! bleh =.=

BYE! BYE!

Emo day!!

I AM A LIVING DEAD DOLL!!

why izzit me?

what i do?

PLS STOP ASKING ME WHY!!

CAUSE I ALSO NEED TO KNOW WHY!!

eh!! don need jia xin xin- don need act cute!! don need say tat we ar still friends.. have u even spare a thought for my feeling.. don tell me that u want protect ur friend.. so wht am i to use some BITCH.. bloody hell!! u ar such a KPO!! KPO= BUSY BODY.. can u care more 4 urself.. maybe u need attention cause u feel left out after i enter.. after so much hurtful things u did to me!! call ur-self a man!!

U R A PUSSY 2 ME!! FK OFF PLS!!

today back to square 2!! life still a shell sch soul out thing..enter class onli tio aim & shoot non stop!! smiling now is 2 hide my pain! the more i laugh the more empty my heart is..I miss them.. not the pussy!! papa.. why.. haix!! i don wan be ling anymore.. ling is painful is sad is not as gd as wht ppl think wht ppl see!! morning when bathing i ask myself can i don be me.. i gif up many things i use to enjoy doing 4 wht i also don know.. but i know i lose alot of happiness n in return gain alot of sorrow.. Love a word a feeling the world is searching 4.. i feel a total loser.. i always help ppl but who help me when i in a lose.. afraid to wake up, i now don even feel like talking i so scare the more i talk the more i might say something wrong.. ty papa.. at least u still there 4 me.. support me abit.. i am sorri that my decision hurt u.. but i did explain why i do that, choose that, did that.. i thought why will help me overcome all.. i wanted to cry out everytime but when the tears reach my eyes they just refuse to leave.. i am afraid so afraid that i become blank mind.. HOW long will it take to overcome everything? Everyday i wake up being a nobody.. Why.. the reason we quarrel.. the answer u wan.. i just want you to myself... only. selfish.. yes i am.. brain wash myself everyday.. veri tired.. tmr long day ahead.. still need rush home help skye de KUKU man wedding lic.. than i decided to quit audition... take a break.. hopefully sat bim free.. sian lo!! i treat all gd but not myself.. EH baby sharon, x3 hee.. ty 4 being there pei-ing me.. baby LOVE!! wee wu wee!! today lesson time keep sleeping HFC revision sleep. FTY faciaL & massage SLEEP... i am tired both my mind n my soul ba.. baby violent lo, de way she twist my head remove my eyes makeup n the way she do vibration..papa.. i not a strong ger n wont be the strong ger.. who don wan to be taken care of by some1.. its hard to overcome everything alone, i think not even wonderwoman can do it.. takes a little help a little push!! now, i don blame any1 but myself 4 everything that happen in my eyes.. everything takes 2 hands to clap, 2 hands t hold on to some1... i just wan to be hold on tight now... a suddenly hug might make me cry.. till today i still look around since the moment i step out my hse.. hoping something happen hoping he might pop out n talk 2 me.. maybe that is wish that is hoping ba.. i know it will not happen now n neber... i don wan know wht will happen tomorrow cause today is a failure...

I HATE LING!! LING'ER LING'ER LING'ER!!!

aviation - you were my everything

this goes out to someone that was

once the most important person in my life

i didn't realize it at the time

i can't forgive myself for the way i treated you so

i don't really expect you to either

it's just... i don't even know

just listen...

you're the one that i want, the one that i need

the one that i gotta have just to succeed

when i first saw you, i knew it was real

i'm sorry about the pain i made you feel

that wasn't me; let me show you the way

i looked for the sun, but it's raining today

i remember when i first looked into your eyes

it was like god was there, heaven in the skies

i wore a disguise 'cause i didn't want to get hurt

but i didn't know i made everything worse

you told me we were crazy in love

but you didn't care when push came to shove

if you loved me as much as you said you did

then you wouldn't have hurt me like i ain't shit

now you pushed me away like you never even knew me

i loved you with my heart, really and truly

i guess you forgot about the times that we shared

when i would run my fingers through your hair

late nights, just holding you in my arms

i don't know how i could do you so wrong

i really wanna show you i really need to hold you

i really wanna know you like no one could else know you

you're number one, always in my heart

and now i can't believe that our love is torn apart

refrain:i need you and

i miss you andi want you and

i love you 'cause

i wanna hold you,

i wanna kiss you

you were my everything

and i really miss you (2x)

i knew you gonna sit and play this with your new man

and then sit and laugh as you're holding his hand

the thought of that just shatters my heart

it breaks in my soul and it tears me apart

at times we was off i was scared to show you

now i wanna hold you until i can't hold you

without you, everything seems strange

your name is forever planted in my brain

damn it, i'm insane,

take away the pain

take away the hurt

baby, we can make it work

what about when you

looked into my eyes

told me you loved me

as you would hugged me

i guess everything you said was a lie

i think about it, it brings tears to my eyes

now i'm not even a thought in your mind

i can see clearly, my love is not blind

i just wish everything could have turned out differently

i had a special feeling about you

i thought maybe you did too

you would understand, but...

no matter what, you'll always be in my heart

you'll always be my baby

our first day, it seemed so magical

i remember all the time that i had with you

remember when you first came to my house?

you looked like an angel wearing that blouse

we hit it off, i knew it was real

but now i can't take all the pain that i feel

reach in your heart, i know i'm still there

i don't wanna hear that you no longer care

remember the times? remember when we kissed?

i didn't think you would ever do me like this

i didn't think you'd wanna see me depressed

i thought you'd be there for me, this i confess

you said you were my best friend, was that a lie?

now i'm nothing to you, you're with another guy

i tried, i tried, i tried, and i'm trying

now on the inside it feels like i'm dying

the only thing i want is for you to be happy

whether it be with me, or without me

i just want you to be happy

爱我的人和我爱的人

盼不到我爱的人

我知道我愿意再等

疼不了爱我的人

片刻柔情它骗不了人

我不是无情的人

却将你伤的最深

我不忍我不能

别再认真

忘了我的人

离不开我爱的人

我知道爱需要缘分

放不下爱我的人

因为了解他多么认真

为什么最真的心

碰不到最好的人

我不问我不能

拥在怀中

直到他变冷

爱我的人为我痴心不悔

我却为我爱的人甘心一生伤悲

在乎的人始终不对

谁对谁不必虚伪

爱我的人为我付出一切

我却为我爱的人流泪狂乱心碎

爱与被爱同样受罪

为什么不懂拒绝痴情的包围]为什么不懂拒绝痴情的包围

Back le..

if i can always be that happy!!
now i am left with a choice.. to leave!!

my nerd hair make me laugh make me sad make me so emo!!
i just wish i know nothing.. continue be a sotong gal!


this is the last time i c papa.. i c blackie!! i didnt know sch start everything come to end!! fairytales ar fake.. who the fk in this world still believe in it.. MAYBE i am de last idoit!!

Back from my break le.. Smk le forget le but reach home everything back into my mind again.. seriously, now i feel veri giddy.. sis was shock y i SMK! i realli stress. from sch, from Papa, from WHY, from everything... i keep looking looking looking hoping there will be change will be surprise or even HOPE.. but all i c is pain dream.. tmr, when i wake up it will be another story.. maybe gd maybe bad but wht i know is i don feel like waking up..Neber promise ppl when u cannot do it.. neber gif ppl hope when u cannot fulfil it.. it onli end up gif-ing ppl pain.. when i say pain when i say i am emo now is thousand of saddness.. i cannot use words to describle it i onli can use my shattered soul to show u.. i neber show ppl how emotional i am. i always gif my fren happy go lucky look. but today i show them my pain my fear my lose in everything.. baby sharon, sayang fatyn sorri i didnt mean to show that sad face but i just bearing too much in my heart..4 the first time i didnt bring my phone out.. i dont know who invented sms.. Sms a programme that can kill ppl can hurt ppl can bring ppl joy can do so many things to thousand of ppl.. ppl often ask me y i got so many unread sms.. i am scare of sms le.. i can scare of putting hope in a sms n kana disappointed once n again.. can i sleep tonight without thinking? i cant ba.. Papa.. i realli don know why i so stupid.. Papa.. i am so sorry ba.. if time can stop i just wana be back like the past where papa still papa.. Papa.. XINFU.. easy to write but hard to get the meaning... now i veri mess up, i wish to MIA also.. but i cant. i still got my project.. if i neber know papa n them i still in my RnB. but now when i blogging i listening to chinese oldies.. Knowing a person is easy forgetting a person is hard.. To love takes 3mins to forget take 3weeks-3months-3years.. now my head so hurting, i promise bim to stop SMK but sorri i realli veri stress i just cannot think straight.. Papa is not easy to tell a person everything..

I HATE MYSELF!!

blackie-raymond sorri sorri n sorri accepting anot is another thing.. i didnt mean to come into it n leave so many bad memories.. i didnt mean anything.. all ur question is not i don wan answer its sudden. i didnt know how 2 answer.. maybe i c things so different that i didnt notice anything.. but, i still wan ty u all pei me 4 the past 2weeks.. i neber step into orchard but i neber miss out any fun also coz i got u guys pei me.. maybe this will be the last le..

HAPPY BIRTHDAY RAYMOND!! 26JULY!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KC!! 30 JULY!!

i was so hurt.. tmr how am i going sch wht type of feeling must i bring with me.. i going insane!! tears ar meant to be hidden.. i am not brave not strong.. i even think of going out de road kana BANG by de car!! i keep staring blank now!! i cannot have anything in my mind a clear vision of happy or even something to keep me clear!! i will miss u all!! i should be the one who leave ba!! papa don need MIA.. i am the idoit! i leave ba.. its my fault..i cant sleep.. i just need some1 now to talk to listen to forget something.. to know everything wont be back wont return to wht it is.. sad.. so many things happen make me unwell again.. my stomach flu, my blackout, my heart..everything compressing me make me feel emotionally breakdown.. pls don tell me wht i should do just lead me out of this mess..ITS ALL MY FAULT!! i cannot stop hating myself!!

BYE! BYE! Baby du bu qi!

sch start le!!

maybe turning back n walk away is the best solution. i should not have answer that phone call that lead to the pain i am carrying it today.. i neber imagine that will crash me so badly. now i am left with EMO..

.......................................

Finally, back to sch.. actually i should be back on monday instead haha Mc!! yea! suddenly skin sensative tat cause some rashes on my leg n hand..

well..

sch start i should be happy, but today i quite emo ba.. emo? sad. damm sad, its onli my shell in sch but soul in burning pain.. am i dreaming i just want to wake up from this painful dream or even return back to 3weeks ago change everything if i can..

I AM A PROBLEM N THE PROBLEM!

i miss papa.. miss blackie, miss why.. i neber regret knowing u! least u bring me 2 weeks of joy n happiness!! i got so much to say in my heart.. Papa ty 4 being there 4 me helping me out protecting me.. i am so selfish i dont want let u go! sorri forgif me maybe i suddenly depend too much on u le.. today is the worse of all my years of sch reopen ba.. suddenly, in 1 morning i lose many things... my life sux ba.. i am so vex now~ I dont know wht i go sch 4 today.. i just keep stare blank.. i c de parafin wax i feel like dipping my whole hand in scalding myself in pain 2 wake up from the dream... i am so afraid i might lose myself again, start emo-ing start missing sch. PLS.. i realli veri giddy.. i know i do wrong tat made papa blackie n why hate me.. WHY why must be me? my mind is blank!! switch on n off ur phone to find some 1 giving me a solution.N not ppl asking me question!! wht answer do u wan from me? when some ppl face problem they can run away from it by playing MIA since they have nothing to worry no work no sch no nothing. but me? i need face sch, face my family, face everything. heart is pain but i still must treat like nothing happen.. still smiling out in sch. i don know how to talk le. maybe slient is the best answer to give to ppl ba! Papa Sorry.. Why Sorry.. Blackie Sorry.. maybe this is wht i can say now.. i just wish i am not me!! SO stress again.. i wan SMK back wan take Panadol again wan do all the zzz things again.. heart ar!! can u stop beating 4 1 sec 2 let me RIP.. Papa i realli happy tat i know u, i wont feel u betray my trust cause i happy tat u once listen to me understand wht i realli am.. Gif me 30mins ba.. let my tears do de job first or let me go down buy panadol n smk than i continue. If i neber continue, means i take this deep cut too much its bleeding.. why. ty 4 everything!! No longer able to quarrel le.. wont feel tired le.. don need to gif in.. Take care!! i cant MIA tats 4 sure but this is the biggest Pain i ever recieve in my life 4 this moment to stand sit or walk i might take a long long journey..

1 last day le...

I WAN HIDE IN THE DARK.. LIVING UNDER NIGHTMARE!!

sian lo.. early morning 7am i call papa gif me miss call need to complete my damm project.. yesterday, wanted to finish it but my heart gif me problem so have to rest..my breathing gets harder i just wish 1 day i stop breathing stop waking up 2 c this painful world.. i miss papa n blackie.. i angry with MR WHY!! WHY LA WHY U MAKE ME ANGRY WHY A LITTLE THINGS U WAN KPKB!! U CANNOT LET ME WIN AR.. U GET MY WEAK POINT! SORRI SORRY SORRI N SORRI IS ALL I SAY WHEN PPL ANGRY.

I SUPER WEAK I HATE MYSELF. I HATE MYSELF SO MUCH EVERY NIGHT I LOOK AT MYSELF I WAN CRY!!

I HATE MYSELF SO MUCH!!

..

..

SORRI PAPA!! I KNOW U DISAPPOINTED WITH ME I KNOW U ANGRY WITH ME.. PAPA!! FORGIF ME PLS!!

SAD AR!!

school starting... i miss papa i miss blackie.. papa my dearest papa my best papa!! blackie my dearest doggie my best doggie. the onli dog in singapore who can play audition!! sad lo!! now i realli don wan do project wan throw everything aside hide in my bed n cry.. i feel so emo.. papa GOME!!!

DON ASK ME WHY LE.. cause i also want to know why!!

WHT HAPPEN TO ME AGAIN!!

CountDown

baby sharon!! sexy look!! bleh

darling joan me n baobei nuer tiff..
darling joan n me
hee seriously now i am not de tallest ger le.. cause darling joan is taller than me!!
ah ger ahger y my birthday i have to stay home look after u!! my cousin la!! NOT NUER..
Aunt!! x3 u so much.. ty 4 everything!!

NAILS NAILS NAILS!!


Nat well she like clam ba!! she got a hard time digging cause she didnt bring her specs out

baby sharon!! (model)

stella(model)
this ger my class buangster ba!! she like 2 mouth abt me..

my burberry shades!!


sch start = bun up ur hair pls!!

darling joan me n ahger!! haha


first time i play dee!!

try this is u dare!! i am a super baung-ster at mask application!!
my new invention MONSTER MASK!!
Steamer!! shh!! cannot tell u all who izzit!!

By baby sharon
by me la
me n sayang fatyn!!







me n shan shan!!
me n baobei nuer tiff!!









we ar super lesbian!! darling joan n me!!
i think i realli so geek!!
PIGGY!!

HOLIDAY START LE!!

holiday, i meet baby sharon go PS shopping brought a pair of new shoes.. nothing much lo.. i didnt manage to shop this holiday.. maybe over sch start i will start my shopping when i free..

3more days, start of a new sch week..

haha.. well this few weeks i being hanging ard AMK.. Meeting Papa, blackie n mr WHY SLACKING slacking n slacking.. quite fun la.. just tat sch start i will miss them!! Papax3 realli ty 4 de care u shown me de love, help n advise u haven given me... Clap Clap blackie blackie my new pet pet cute cute super kawaii!! haha.. k la not forgetting MR WHY.. he realli make ppl go OMG LA.. faint!! his fav question why this wht tat he will neber have lack of WHY.. OMG lo.. haha surprise i wake up so early right.. well, today i meeting sayang baby n nat coming my hse do project.. so this few days is CHIONGING DAY HAVE to complete in time before MONDAY.. Nothing much to blog also.. haha.. let me post some pictures i have did last sem..