sch start le!!

maybe turning back n walk away is the best solution. i should not have answer that phone call that lead to the pain i am carrying it today.. i neber imagine that will crash me so badly. now i am left with EMO..

.......................................

Finally, back to sch.. actually i should be back on monday instead haha Mc!! yea! suddenly skin sensative tat cause some rashes on my leg n hand..

well..

sch start i should be happy, but today i quite emo ba.. emo? sad. damm sad, its onli my shell in sch but soul in burning pain.. am i dreaming i just want to wake up from this painful dream or even return back to 3weeks ago change everything if i can..

I AM A PROBLEM N THE PROBLEM!

i miss papa.. miss blackie, miss why.. i neber regret knowing u! least u bring me 2 weeks of joy n happiness!! i got so much to say in my heart.. Papa ty 4 being there 4 me helping me out protecting me.. i am so selfish i dont want let u go! sorri forgif me maybe i suddenly depend too much on u le.. today is the worse of all my years of sch reopen ba.. suddenly, in 1 morning i lose many things... my life sux ba.. i am so vex now~ I dont know wht i go sch 4 today.. i just keep stare blank.. i c de parafin wax i feel like dipping my whole hand in scalding myself in pain 2 wake up from the dream... i am so afraid i might lose myself again, start emo-ing start missing sch. PLS.. i realli veri giddy.. i know i do wrong tat made papa blackie n why hate me.. WHY why must be me? my mind is blank!! switch on n off ur phone to find some 1 giving me a solution.N not ppl asking me question!! wht answer do u wan from me? when some ppl face problem they can run away from it by playing MIA since they have nothing to worry no work no sch no nothing. but me? i need face sch, face my family, face everything. heart is pain but i still must treat like nothing happen.. still smiling out in sch. i don know how to talk le. maybe slient is the best answer to give to ppl ba! Papa Sorry.. Why Sorry.. Blackie Sorry.. maybe this is wht i can say now.. i just wish i am not me!! SO stress again.. i wan SMK back wan take Panadol again wan do all the zzz things again.. heart ar!! can u stop beating 4 1 sec 2 let me RIP.. Papa i realli happy tat i know u, i wont feel u betray my trust cause i happy tat u once listen to me understand wht i realli am.. Gif me 30mins ba.. let my tears do de job first or let me go down buy panadol n smk than i continue. If i neber continue, means i take this deep cut too much its bleeding.. why. ty 4 everything!! No longer able to quarrel le.. wont feel tired le.. don need to gif in.. Take care!! i cant MIA tats 4 sure but this is the biggest Pain i ever recieve in my life 4 this moment to stand sit or walk i might take a long long journey..